Down The Rabbit Hole

so close...

2009-03-05T19:28:08Z

ugh

2008-12-02T01:57:32Z

i only feel sick on days when i sleep in.

today i feel so awful. i don't even know. it just snuck up on me. im hot and cold and feel pukey. whenever i work the AM shift i feel fine.

maybe i should do something about that.

ooo

2007-03-28T16:40:17Z

be more than you can be: transhumanism and the army

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/15.03/bemore.html

I got a job at the hostel in Eastham, or the "Mid-Cape" hostel. I'm excited. Bu, you better visit, Erica said so.
I'm excited because i'll get to work with girl scout troops! I was a GS for 5 years soooo, i'll know what i'm doing pretty much.

Annnnd i'm going to provincetown right now with cam and dorothy, because its SO nice out we just want to walk down commercial street, and maybe hit up the squealing pig for some good eats. Yum yum yum. Sweet potato curly frieeees!

Anywho.
Cam's ex just showed up. AGAIN. he loves doing that. It's creepy. He's crazy. I'm not happy about it.

AT all.

iatethecanary @ 2007-03-23T15:49:00

2007-03-23T20:04:44Z

I'm prettty sure the hostel is GO but im not 100%. I quit fashion bug. I just called and quit. That place was driving me crazy. I'll get another job for april and a bit of may until the hostel is open and then hopefully ill be moving to the vineyard or eastham and then truro in june. Who knows.

other than that, im doing pretty good. ive been seeing my friends a lot and that's what is important to me right now.

I want to move to a commune.

with naked hippies.

iatethecanary @ 2007-03-21T20:59:00

2007-03-22T01:12:56Z

stick it is my new favorite movie.... ever... of all time.

that chick is so hot.

iatethecanary @ 2007-03-18T10:26:00

2007-03-18T14:40:39Z

i'm trying so hard right now to get my ass to boston.

hopefully seth or bill will come through.

i WANNA GOOOOOOO!

iatethecanary @ 2007-03-17T19:21:00

2007-03-17T23:36:12Z

i've just decided that all i want out of life is big hair, big sunglasses, and hot shoes. because honestly.... what else is there?

The hostel said they would get back to me next week. I'm hoping that by get back to me, they mean hire me. Because that would be the greatest ever.

I want it so bad.

*cross fingers*

bleh

2007-03-16T15:30:07Z

It's snowing. And it's beautiful.

I watched Say Anything and cried. woop de doo.

I made a tent in my living room that's attatched to our cathedral ceilings by a string on the skylight, and hangs over the couch. There's even a lamp under it. Sadly, it's not as cool as the tent on The Dreamers, or Les Innocents, which is what i was going for.

Oh man, if i could have Eva Greene and Michael Pitt in MY tent, i'd be golden. That other dude would be welcome too.

Today shall be full of music, incense, music, cleaning, music, snow, music, coffee, music, puppies, music, and perhaps some LOGO. Because i can't get enough. But no new MCR. I tried it and by track 5 i cracked.

Having the whole house to myself is nice, but lonely.
I think my vagina is angry with me, for using it way too much. Not that anyone needs to know that. But really.

BY THE WAY: Did anyone watch CNN this morning when they were covering the CIA leak thing? I don't know a lot about it because i like to hide from the news and whatnot (it bums me out), BUT there was definitely a Drag Queen in all pink wearing a shirt that said "IMPEACH BUSH NOW" that kept standing up behing the woman at the conference and making fantastic hand gestures. Can someone please tell me they also saw this?

Keep it fresh, kids. Crescent Fresh.

avril owns my soul

2007-03-13T12:44:11Z

that new avril song is so damn catchy. crazy.

I've been thinking about mr.treadwell every day. Theres always something to remind me of him. Everywhere i go. it's kind of creepy. I even thought about him in the shower. Not about him in the shower, but yeah. I think it had something to do with my soap. I don't know why.

I miss him like crazy. And cameron keeps trying to make me listen to his CD and i just can't do it. not yet.

JAMIE!!! get your butt down to cape cod NOW!
grrr!

i love you.

and i miss my buberrie as well. and rae and jen and eliza. It's terrible. and i don't think chrissy's gonna drive me to boston like we talked about. and hopefully goat can take me when he goes to see the murphy's but i doubt it.
and i want to see a smoke animals show.

and fucking. my job is so boring. and.... i hate the dress code. no sneakers, no jeans, no t-shirts, and no sweatshirts. Basically, what i wear everyday is not allowed.

lame.

i miss the hoot.

tori amos may or may not be the antichrist

2007-03-09T01:39:19Z

yeah.
it's been done.

had a boyfriend. dumped a boyfriend. gained a FB. all in less than two weeks!

also got a job at fashion bug. they fucking love me.

annnnnnnd not too much else. still working on the truro dealy.

<3 call me crackas.

no shit

2007-02-27T00:49:07Z

http://www.chabad.org/holidays/purim/article.asp?AID=2814

i love jews.

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2007-02-22T00:51:36Z

iatethecanary @ 2007-02-15T09:48:00

2007-02-15T14:55:56Z

Besides my mom being cranky because i didn't do the dishwasher, life is fabulous.

I haven't felt so nice in a while.

And i'm rarely drinking which is SO GOOD.
Cuz i pretty much hate to love it.

Annnnnnd i got part of my taxes back so im going to pay off my debt and get some necessities - aka things my mom should buy me but won't because supposedly i'm a big kid now and even though i don't have a job yet have to buy for myself.

Like soap.
And a bra.

Annnnnd i really want to get a piercing... i sort of want another tongue ring and i definitely want my medusa back. But i think soap is more important.

And don't worry bu.... i've got bills on the way for you too, homes. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!!!
I need to take a boston trip ASAP. for reals.

I found some really cool makeup... i'm gonna go play with it.

iatethecanary @ 2007-02-09T12:55:00

2007-02-09T17:55:32Z

MY SKIN IS SOOOOO DRY!!!!

One reason why i haaaaaate winter. But hey man, it's ok cuz i exfoliate n shit. For real.

So now i'm a little less dry but still ITCHYYYY.

Today will be a fantastic day. I'm gonna take the bus to hyannis and probably go to the mall to see dorophile, then maybe see james and then tuna and ashley and whatnot. HOOOORAY!

I watched the british live-action version of Alice in Wonderland. It was really bad. If i was tripping, it might have been better. But i don't do that so it was bad.

I think i'm gonna run through a field of flowers today. That sounds like a good plan.

<3

weee-o!

2007-02-08T16:52:44Z

Since i moved home i've been BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!!!

I'm very happy about that, because in b-town i felt like i was never really doing anything.

Today i'm going to lunch with my dad then job hunting in the commons then going to housing with corrine then probably doing something tonight and more unpacking.

Tomorrow chrissy is coming home so i'll see her and dorothy and hopefully ashley campanini. Sleepover-

Thennnnn going to providence with cam to puppy sit for the most wonderful pup in the world at the most wonderful house in the world for the most wonderful people in the world - pete and dave.

AND i got birthday money so i'm not flat broke anymore! And my tax returns will pay off my debt, and ill have money to give buberrie, annnnnd EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL!!!

thank goodness.
<3

p.s. my puppies are the best.

wowowow.

2007-02-06T19:50:04Z

WOW. Being home is pretty much the most fantastic thing ever.

Yesterday I got some unpacking done, but mainly had a movie thon because the night before i chugged nyquil and hadn't fully woken up yet.
Then at like 11 Dorothy picked me up and we went to her house. We had soooooo much fun just eating taco salad and taking bong rips. I really really missed her, i forgot how much fun it is when it's just her and me. She really is sooo much like me...

Annnnnd this morning i woke up from her amazingly comfortable bed, and we watched Wonderpets which is the most adorable show ever. Then we hopped in the Denali and got energy drinks and taco bell. Theeeeen i got home and my mom was being nice and she gave me an energy drink and now i'm going to finish my room up so that it is more glorious than it was before - which was pretty fucking glorious.

I miss my boston pals and keep talking about them, but i know i'll visit tons. Now to get a job-
I might cave and go to hot topic. And i might cave and go to Newbury, but i doubt they'll hire me. Stop and Shop is #1 right now though, because i need hours and moneyyyyy.

My tax return is going to be like 500$, so i can pay off my debt and pay back Bu for what i owe her.

YES!!!!

See? see how good things are going so far??

<3!!!!!!!!!!!

a place called won't be there

2007-02-04T23:42:38Z

i miss brittany.

even though i rarely saw her.

The past few nights were fantastic.

The truck we used to get my stuff home broke down. We had to get it towed. With all my shit in it.

Actually moving my stuff took less than 10 minutes. maybe 5.

My party was the greatest show on earth. And so was that tingly stuff. Blaire knows what i'm talking about. I'm pretty sure everyone else does too.

I'm rearranging my room tonight and hopefully seeing Dor. I don't feel like being alone even though i'm sick and fucking exhausted.

Job hunting this week, then hopefully a boston trip and definitely sophie sitting for pete and dave.
Things are looking up.

SEE? I HAVE PLANS. AND THINGS TO ACCOMPLISH. i'm trying to convince myself this is for the best. Because i know it is but a part of me is resisting.

iatethecanary @ 2007-02-03T11:36:00

2007-02-03T16:36:44Z

My lit mirror just electrocuted me.

I'm pretty sure i just almost peed my pants.

That was terrifying.

hold me?

iatethecanary @ 2007-02-01T13:19:00

2007-02-01T18:20:01Z

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

fiona apple + packing + reminiscing = nikki not in the mood for work.

oh well. 2 more shifts...

wakey wakey

2007-01-27T18:42:04Z

Getting up gets harder and harder to do everyday. I know that i'm just going to have an extremely boring day lacking in human interaction and anything interesting at all.
I have work today. That means forced awkward human interaction. For a while i thought that was better than a total lack of - Yeah, not so much.

My job is ok. But diego and james are leaving (today is their last day!), I never work with Joe anymore, and soleil is awesome but i dont know if we're working together. And i'm pretty sure that shawn is mad at me (my boss), maybe not mad just kinda upset because his whole staff is quitting.

Gah. Boston has made me feel like i've been in slow mo, or stand still for the past... how long? 5 months?

It's like in Mario64 when you just stop playing. And he stands there and shit goes on around him but he doesnt seem to notice, unless it affects him negatively. Eventually, he just stops caring and falls asleep.
Oh mario, who would have known we had so much in common?

I'm pretty much done with this city. Minus the cool people i've met. Which is brittany,rae,jen,eliza,bill,seth.....??

Dude. Fuck being a big kid and feeling totally crazy and miserable all the time. I'm going home.
And i'm so excited even though i know what lies ahead of me. The fighting, the occasional boredom, the extra responsibilities. At least i will feel like I exist.

BTW i want a gamecube for my birthday. With mortal kombat.
thanks.

"Only the shallow know themselves"
- Oscar Wilde

bored in boston.

2007-01-26T19:46:00Z

I cannot wait to move back home. For realz.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

NO CHEATING...

What does next year have in store for me?
Blood Pig - Otep

Whats my love life like?
The End of the World - Nina Gordon

What do I say when life gets hard?
I Know - Placebo

What do I think when I get up in the morning?
Head over feet - Alanis Morisette

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Credit in the Straight World - Hole

What do you want as a career?
Riot Riot Upstart - Agnostic Front

Your favorite saying?
Alala - CSS

Favorite place?
10 Plagues of Egypt - Lars Fredriksen and the Bastards

What do you think of your parents?
Doomsday - Transplants

Where would you go on a first date?
Midnight Service at the Mutter Museum - Murder City Devils

Describe yourself?
Sweetness Follows - REM

What is the thing I like doing most?
Settle For Nothing - RATM

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
I want to dissappear - Marilyn Manson

How will I die?
Blueprint - Fugazi

What do you do when you see your friends?
Orgasm - Porno For Pyros

How does your boyfriend/girlfriend make you feel?
My Friends - Red Hot Chili Peppers

How does your ex make you feel?
Sleep to Dream - Fiona Apple

If you were to die today, you would feel (like)
Maxwell Murder - ...And Out come the wolves

overall, not too impressive. but hey, it took enough time that i didn't get bored while my water was boiling.

my birthday is in 3 days

leavin

2007-01-23T23:15:09Z

im leaving soon.
hooray!
and sadness.

ahhh confusion. i know you. welcome back.

brittany is amazing.
we might get matching tats.
i'm so stoked.
that would be rad.

im too out of it to post anything more.

THIS IS PRECIOUS ROY....

ANAL BUM COVER!

SUCKERRRRRRS!

iatethecanary @ 2007-01-19T21:37:00

2007-01-20T02:42:54Z

Let’s get out of this country
I’ll admit I am bored with me
I drowned my sorrows and slept around
When not in body at least in mind
We’ll find a cathedral city
You can convince me I am pretty

We’ll pick berries and recline
Let’s hit the road dear friend of mine
Wave goodbye to our thankless jobs
We’ll drive for miles maybe never turn off
We’ll find a cathedral city you can be handsome I’ll be pretty

What does this city have to offer me
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see
I just can’t see

Let’s get out of this country
I have been so unhappy
Smell the Jasmine my head was turned
I feel like getting confessional
We’ll find a cathedral city you can convince me I am pretty

What does this city have to offer me ?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me
I just can’t see
I just can’t see.

iatethecanary @ 2007-01-13T20:49:00

2007-01-14T01:53:06Z

ahhh

2007-01-10T20:41:09Z

sooo.

after work today hopefully i'll see bu and spencer and perhaps miss rae.
lovely.

THEN tomorrow i'm going to the cape for 4 days. Im so excited. i get the whole house to myself and ill get to see chrissy and proctor and sammy pie. and maybe more!

And then i'm back in boston for 3 days and back to the cape for another 3.

I LOVE IT!

and msi.
and my own creation of hair dye - i made a spiffy color.

shaweeet.
work time